Yes, I am feeling happy and contentedly attached to the one who created me. Early this morning I meditated on His word to tell Him that I need His infinite compassion to awaken me from my slumbering life. I know my heart‘s cry will reach His palace, My prayer will knock at His heavenly door, He will open it and ask me what I need. When I meditate on His word, I empty my heart. When my heart is empty, my eternal father/friend comes in and sits on His throne inside the very depths of my heart. In the innermost recesses of my heart His life of infinite concern, compassion, love and blessings abide. My Eternal father/friend listens and fulfills my prayer. When I meditate, He comes in and fulfills my inner need. When I pray, I talk and He listens to me. When I meditate, He talks and I listen to Him. This is how we converse. My prayer and my meditation are of paramount importance in my life of aspiration, dedication and I surrender to the will of my Heavenly Father.
I need myself this moment to fulfill my countless, teeming desires. But when my desires are not fulfilled and when I realise that I do not have the capacity to fulfill them, I feel that I do not need this earthly existence. I want to discard this body-consciousness, for this body consciousness does not give me an iota of satisfaction. We work, we serve, we pray, we meditate each moment in conscious dedication, and the result of this dedication takes the outer form of either success or failure. But when we go deep within, we feel that there is no such thing as success or failure. We see everything as an experience that has come to us in the march of expansion. Finally, we realise that even this experience is not our dominion. It is actually God‘s aquaintance, for He is the doer, He is the action and He is the fruit thereof.
Regardless of our inability to remain faithful His love never lessens or waivers. I often take for granted God who is responsible for all good and great things. There have been people in my life that I have impacted in a positive way and ones that I have not. To the latter, I’m sorry. I find peace in God’s forgiveness of me even though I can’t always forgive myself. I am grateful that I strive to serve an understanding God. I love and am thankful for the friends He has placed in my life. I can truly say that I have the world’s largest family. I know that in every Christian’s walk there are times we fall. Don’t get down on yourself. We all do it. Just know that God understands and can’t wait for you to get back up.
I am a sinner just like you. In God’s eyes I can only be described as a beautiful mess. I am not perfect or in any grand fashion do I resemble Christ, throughout my time as a Christian I wasn’t always one. Many time my actions, thoughts, words, and emotions have not represented the God that I proclaim to serve or love with every ounce of my being. Many times I have forgotten what God has done for us. But every time I am having a conversation with Him, I feel that He loves me infinitely more than I love myself. When sometimes fear, doubt, and anxiety assail my life of aspiration, when I cherish and treasure limitation, bondage, ignorance and death, My Heavenly Father, loves me still. I feel that I am great in His eyes. Either way, every time I turn around, God is still there watching over me as He watches over you.
Nizy's Life Compendium 
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